by GP and Women's Health Specialist Dr Emma Sloan
Overwhelm refers to a state of being emotionally or mentally overloaded, often resulting from excessive stress or a sense of being unable to cope with demands. It can manifest as feelings of anxiety, helplessness, and exhaustion.
In the UK, national statistics show that a significant number of women experience overwhelm. According to a 2023 survey by the Mental Health Foundation, 60% of women over 55 reported feeling overwhelmed by their daily responsibilities, with factors such as work pressures, household chores, and caring duties contributing to these feelings. This data highlights the growing concern about mental health and the need for better support for women’s wellbeing.
When Stress Takes Over
Women in their mid-lives are often balancing demanding jobs with managing things at home and for some, also trying to be a loving mum and supportive partner, it’s demanding both physically and mentally, along with everyday challenges. As women reach their mid-age they are often supporting their elderly, sometimes poorly, parents too. We call those years ‘the sandwich years’ because women feel squeezed from both sides.
Women of all ages talk openly to me about feeling ‘overwhelmed’, they are struggling to cope with the demands of their ever-busier lives. They often express a desire to run away or hide and they describe a new apathy that they don't recognise. ‘I know the dishwasher needs emptying, but I just can’t bring myself to do it’ - a phrase I hear a lot. I’m not sure why it’s always the dishwasher, maybe the banal repetition of a job that must be done over and over again just typifies the problem.
Life IS challenging, but how can you stop things from building up to the point that you feel completely overwhelmed by your own life?
Dr Sloan’s top tips for avoiding and coping with overwhelm
Recognise your signs
How does your behaviour change when you are stressed? Do you become more anxious, worrying incessantly, do you withdraw and avoid people? Do you get irritable and angry? Perhaps you eat too much or too little, do you lose your routine completely? Spotting these changes earlier and making some changes can help avoid complete overwhelm.
Slow things down
Feeling overwhelmed goes hand in hand with fear and anxiety, when you feel anxious you tend to do everything too quickly, from walking and talking to decision making, even breathing. Try to focus on slowing things down, take your time, give yourself more time. Leave a little earlier for an appointment, cancel the unnecessary commitments, start your bedtime routine a little earlier.
Breathe
Breath work can be so helpful when you feel overwhelmed. When our breathing becomes too fast or unregulated our carbon dioxide and oxygen become out of balance. Our carbon dioxide levels increase and when this happens our muscles struggle to relax, making us feel tense and uncomfortable. There are lots of breathing techniques out there but keep it simple - take a breath in through your nose, hold for three seconds and then breath out through your mouth slowly, as if you are blowing up a balloon. This technique will slow your breathing down, increase your oxygen and help you to relax.
Write it down
Getting all those thoughts, worries and tasks that are whizzing around your head down in black and white can really bring some clarity. Once they are written down you can bring some order to them, classify them by priority or importance, take a few days to look over them, you don’t have to tackle any of them straight away.
Chunk it down
A big part of overwhelm is that the issues feel so big it feels impossible to manage. Try to break the issues into more manageable chunks. Sometimes it feels less overwhelming if you decide on just one thing you can do towards solving an issue, just start with a simple task that works towards the solution.
Self-soothing techniques
In difficult times, we can forget to take any time for ourselves. Women in particular struggle to recognise how important it is to include activities in their schedules that are just for them. I always recommend including self-soothing activities, whatever that looks like for you. Some ideas are walking in nature, coffee with friends, yoga or meditation, a long, hot bubble bath, listening to a good podcast and reading – take your pick.
Prioritise sleep
It is vitally important to our physical and mental health to get good quality sleep. It doesn’t come easy to many people, but being tired can make all our problems seem worse. Creating and retaining a good bedtime routine, avoiding screens before bed and eating a protein-rich diet can help ensure you sleep well.
Say no and get comfortable with disappointing people
It's not easy to say ‘no’ to things, but it can be quite liberating once you start. Take control of your schedule, of course there are things we have to do, but it’s amazing how many things we do out of duty or to please others. Choose carefully and do things for the right reasons.
Manage your thoughts
How we speak to ourselves can be quite revealing, we don’t always notice how negative and unkind our thoughts can be. Recognise those unhelpful thinking habits. ‘Shoulds’ and ‘musts’ can be unhelpful, ask yourself ‘is that the advice I would give to my friend?’
Alternative therapies
Everyone has their favourite, but I love acupuncture and I thoroughly recommend treating yourself to a session to clear your head.
Ask for help
Feeling overwhelmed can last a moment or can drag on. The physical and mental effects of long term overwhelm can be quite debilitating. If you can’t kick the feeling and it is affecting you every day, please ask for help, talk to your GP, see a therapist, try a life coach or even talk to a friend. Most people have felt overwhelmed at some point. Sharing how you feel can be helpful and you may pick up some tips and advice.
News and articles
We offer a range of news and blog articles to enable people to make more informed decisions when it comes to the treatments we have at The McIndoe Centre.
